You Are Not Alone
You are not alone. I don’t start with this to sound cliche or to attempt to make light of how utterly alone you might feel. I start with it because in my experience with trauma, the realization that I wasn't alone profoundly impacted my ability to heal. There are certainly differences in our stories, and our circumstances will vary. What we have gone through or what we are going through is unique. Our paths to healing won't be identical. One thing that is the same for all of us though, no matter our road, is that we aren't alone in it. You aren't alone.
Speaking from a history of my own trauma, including childhood sexual abuse, homelessness, addiction, sexual assault and emotional abuse (to scrape the surface), I know how petrifying healing can be. I remember believing there was no way anyone would or could understand what I went through and how I felt. To add salt to the wound, I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems, which only made me feel more alone. The trauma messages told me I was alone. They told me I was a burden and no one would care or understand. Those messages are not the truth.
There's a stigma to mental health and a shame that comes with trauma- especially taboo experiences like sexual assault, homelessness, rape, and suicide. People don't want to talk about them because it's uncomfortable and hard. Some people don't want to see or admit that darkness exists in our world. I, on the other hand, know it exists and have experienced it first hand. Along with many other people I know. My job now that I have walked through the darkness is to reach my hand out and do my best to let others know they aren't alone on their journey through the darkness. There is hope, and no matter how alone and lonely you feel... you are not alone.
You may feel like you're crazy and there's no hope... you're not alone. You may feel ashamed and worthless... you're not alone. You may feel like a burden... you're not alone. You may feel like no one cares and you deserve whatever happened or is happening... you're not alone. Maybe there's guilt and some conscious choice to be in the situation that caused turmoil and trauma... you're not alone there either. I felt all those things. My "aloneness" brought me to suicide. That's a dreadful point to get to. I wouldn't wish that anguish on my worst enemy.
So, I'll scream it from the mountain top, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is hope. There are people that care and want to help. I feel for you. I hurt for you. I see you. I also believe you and believe IN you. When everything seems dark and it's hard to focus, if you can remember one thing, let it be this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
-JJ
“I’ll scream it from the mountain top,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”