It’s Okay To Be Human

Let me take a moment to tell you what I believe “being human” means.  It means feeling what you feel when you feel it.  It means having and acknowledging emotions and being able to express them.  Being human means making mistakes, stumbling, falling, and having the ability to get back up and try again.  It means we aren’t always going to get it right, but being proud and celebrating when we do.  Humans have fears and the ability to overcome those fears.  Being human means that we don’t have all the answers.  We don’t always know.  We are complex in our emotions and have the right to feel them ALL.  Being human means that we have a need for love and connection.  It means we cry if we need to or want to.  Being human means we get to be curious about life, ourselves, and why we feel what we feel and react how we react.  Being human means it’s okay to be curious about these things and grow inside our uniqueness to be exactly who we’re meant to be; stumbles, quirks, and all.

Full disclosure:  I struggle with the whole “being human” concept.  My logic and my body are in constant debate about it.  My logic tells me it’s okay for me to be human.  I know that it is, and I want nothing else from those I encounter in life.  Yet, it’s still a struggle, and it’s much easier to talk about than it is to put into practice.  I still feel more like a robot than a human some days.  I blame that on learned defense mechanisms from the trauma I survived.

You know that feeling you get right before you cry?  Where your chest tightens, your eyes fuzz, and you get a click in your throat… that’s my switch.  It turns my robot on, and I haven’t completely figured out how to stop it.  At that point everything in me that knows it’s okay to be human flies out the window.  It doesn’t matter if that click in my throat is sadness, joy, pain, or anger.  I can openly express deep enough to get to that click, and then all logic exits, and everything in me screams stop, run, and avoid.  I can talk about the emotions but I’m still learning the human part of expressing them.

Something I am realizing as I’m writing this is that me admitting I struggle here is me being human.  In the past I would have avoided this topic if presented to me.  I would have felt like a fraud suggesting you should practice what I preach without having it perfected myself.  Silly right- because humans aren’t perfect and that’s okay too. 

My therapist says, “When we feel our natural emotions we naturally heal.”  What happens when years of defense mechanisms prevent you from feeling those natural emotions?  In essence, making you feel not like a human.  You make space, stay curious, be patient and gentle, and you keep trying.  The struggle and the not knowing and the accepting of uncertainty is the premise of being human.  And it’s okay to be human.  As frustrating as my human struggle is, I’m learning to be okay with it.  Mostly because I continue to try and be curious.  I try to counteract those learned defense mechanisms.  I love seeing the human in other people.  For others I know, feel, and believe, it’s okay for their human to show!  Because of others showing me their human, I continue to stumble and learn better ways to overcome my defense mechanisms.  Someday I want to feel and believe it’s okay for myself to be human, rather than just knowing it.  It’s more than okay to be human.  In fact, it’s welcomed, sought after, and cherished!  

-JJ

“It’s more than okay to be human.  In fact, it’s welcomed, sought after, and cherished!”

-JJ