No Matter How Big or Small

The Importance of Healing Trauma

Before I jump into the importance of healing trauma, I have to say that I loathe the saying "no matter how big or small."  When it comes to trauma, I believe there's nothing better or worse about different traumatic events.  I hear people minimize their experiences with things like "but I wasn't raped" or "someone else had it worse."  Trauma is trauma.  It can get more complex depending on the person's experiences but that doesn't make one trauma less than another.  It all has an impact.  It affects our lives and our family’s lives.  It changes how we look at ourselves, other people and the world.  Don't minimize your experience because you think others had a worse experience.  What you went through, how it affected you and your feelings surrounding it are just as valid and important as anyone else. You survived something and no matter what that something is, you had to struggle to get through it.  Your healing is just as important.  The impact is what matters.

Traumatic experiences affect our internal messaging.  Questions arise.  What did I do?  What could I have done differently?  Why me?  Why does this affect me so profoundly?  How did I manage to survive?  Why did I survive?  Naturally some anxiety and depression may develop.  Will it happen again?  What can I do to prevent it?  Will I always feel like this?  When will it get better?  Does what happened matter?  Will anyone understand or care?  Was it my fault?  Without help and understanding of trauma these questions become statements- a survivor's truths.  I did this.  I should have done something different.  This shouldn't affect me.  It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have survived.  I wish I hadn't survived.  I am broken... defective.  It was my fault.  No one will understand, care, or believe me.  How I feel about it doesn't matter, because I don't matter.  We attempt to convince ourselves it didn't have an impact. 

See how quickly that escalated?  That's what unresolved trauma does.  It can change from the experience being the problem to the survivor being the problem.  We believe the lies we're told inside the trauma. Trauma messaging takes over and that becomes our truth which leaves the reality of truth buried.  We can only shove ourselves full of yuck so much before it starts overflowing and coming out sideways.  Then those messages present themselves as low self-esteem and confidence, trust issues, addiction, lashing out, and other mental health problems.  

Nobody deserves to feel this way.

-JJ

“No matter what that something is, you had to struggle to get through it. 

[The] healing is just as important.”