Trauma Escape Room
I was posed with the question the other day of if I thought it was absolutely necessary for trauma survivors to have to face the darkness of their trauma to be able to heal from it.
Is facing the darkness preventable?
My metaphorical brain thinks about it like this...
Trauma traps us in a room, by ourselves. The room has one light switch and one door. The amount of room needing to be traversed and the density of darkness depends on the complexity of the trauma. This room by no means is empty. It has walls to go around or break down, furniture to bump into and climb over... even Legos strewn about the floor... and yes, we're barefoot.
From my own experience and talking to other survivors there is something that all rooms have in common, you must get to the light switch and turn it on before the door unlocks and you can exit the room. You see, that light switch is the key to freedom and represents self-compassion. That's not to say the two are close to each other though. For me, the light switch was on one side of the room and the door on the complete opposite. I banged and bruised myself up pretty good searching for that light switch until I realized if I slowed down and felt my way through it, I would get to the light switch without causing myself as much pain. I remember when I got to that light switch I thought it would be smooth sailing. I didn't realize my light switch was so far from my door. Even though I could see clearly I was still going to have to traverse the room again full of clutter and baggage... just with clearer vision. If your room is anything like mine, the wiring may be a little faulty and that light may dim from time to time but with some extra TLC it's fixable to see clearly again.
Another thing to know about these trauma escape rooms is, the sound proofing is a bit sketchy. A lot of times we can scream and scream and no one can hear us. Sometimes we have to cause quite the ruckus before anyone even realizes we're stuck. On the other hand, most of the time we can hear the people we love talking to us from the outside. They can try and give us direction on how to turn the light on or get to the door but since they aren't in the room and have never been in our particular room they can't possibly have any idea of exactly what it is that is needed to, or the direction needed to get to the light switch or door. They may have been in their own room at one time and have tips and tricks, maybe an idea of the blueprint of the room but there's no way of knowing how dark it is or how large a space needs to be traversed. The outsiders don't know what objects can be moved, broken down or climbed over. We can't see what's being bumped into. That means the directions we are giving them could potentially be causing them more harm than good. As people on the outside of the room it's impossible for us to get them out of the room; they have to get themselves out. We can be encouraging, loving, supportive... we can help them not give up by making it known we're on the outside of their room waiting for them; but we can't do it for them.
So to answer the original question... yes, the darkness has to be faced; it's not preventable. There are ways to help, ways to prevent the room from getting bigger and darker... but once the room has been formed the survivor has to find the way out. Which is absolutely possible when they slow down, feel their way through, give themselves grace and compassion and hold on to the love, support and encouragement from outside.
